Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
