he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
