Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
