booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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