yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
