Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
