I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
