Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
