grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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