I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
