just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
