I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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