I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
