While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We have so much sex to catch up on
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
