WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't deserve a penis
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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