talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I have post one night stand depression
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
