i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
