you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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