My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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