Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
