I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
