i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
