VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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