So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
