The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
