she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My dick has a subreddit
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
there is glitter all over my balls
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
