Your dad touched me again.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
