BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
