Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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