Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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