i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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