He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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