Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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