I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
