Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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