just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i believe in u and ur pee
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