Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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