i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
