how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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