bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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