My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize