The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
