I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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