Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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