Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
