even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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