Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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