next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
