Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
