There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
