just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He felt like a one man threesome
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Boobs speak an international language.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
