make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
