so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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