I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
