But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize