walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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