Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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