We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
