Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
